Tuesday, July 7

The Myth of a Perfect Wedding

This month, my husband and I celebrate our 17th anniversary...that's 170 years in married-years.  We like to joke that, seventeen years ago, we gathered our nearest and dearest, and tried to take them all out with one swoop! 

When you plan your wedding, you think about how beautiful and magical it will be....but truly, how often does that happen?  Sometimes it can be a nightmare!  Usually it falls somewhere in-between...but it's those mishaps that create the best memories!

July, rural Oklahoma
The temperatures have been steadily rising in one of the biggest heat waves ever to hit the area.  (Our beautiful, cool, fall wedding was pushed forward to summer at the insistence of my soon-to-be-boss.)  Each day, we pray for a cooling rain that never comes.

The wedding is scheduled for 3pm, outside, and the heat index is 120.  The bridal party is dressed for a fall wedding, and (unknown to the bride) the groom has been in the hospital until two hours prior with an unfortunate medical attack.  Father-of-the-bride (FOB) walks in to find the groom sleeping off the Percocet....and thinks it must have been a helluva bachelor party!
With everyone attending to the groom, the bride and her girls are crawling around on the dirt putting up tables and getting the grounds ready.  They have made the unfortunate mistake of writing "Johnson Estate" on the signs leading to the area, and soon several random trucks with trailers start showing up for the supposed estate sale!

Mother-of-the-bride breaks her ankle during pictures (though we don't know it's broken until that night when she goes to the ER) and FOB trips and very-nearly falls into the cake -- but it really doesn't matter, because the icing has melted and the cake is sliding apart anyway.
Finally the ceremony starts.  The groom, still slightly drowsy, cannot figure out his cue to say "I Do," and so keeps repeating it until the pastor says "OK, say it now."  We will always joke that this could be grounds for an annulment...

The photographer gets heat stroke and someone has to drive her home, limiting all photos taken to those from family and friends.  One of the groomsmen is very close to heat illness, and everyone begins to peal off clothing quickly.  Mother-of-the-groom is very overheated, but her loved ones solve that problem quickly by throwing her into the pool!
The DJ has taken the money and split town, leaving us with no music, and a neighbor steps in with his personal cd collection.  We have never met him, and he knows nothing about us, but he does an admirable job!  He thinks the bride might be from Mississippi (she's not), and picks out Tupelo Honey for the first dance.
When the cake is cut, and the sun set, we leave for the evening...but the honeymoon is cancelled because the groom goes back to the hospital with the same medical issues.  We keep putting it off because life keeps getting in the way.

Fast forward two years
FINALLY, we get to take a honeymoon!!!!  We spent four nights in Cozumel, Mexico.  And since we had a one-year old at the time, I'm pretty sure we slept and enjoyed the quiet relaxation even more than your average honeymooners.

We had a blast on the snorkeling tour, and spent most of a day just lying around in a hammock.  Since Hurricane Emily had decimated most of the island, those of us that remained had the run of the place.  It was very relaxing! 

We rented a love bug to tour the island, did some shopping, and created our own pottery.  Incidentally, we still have that ceramic bowl....it holds sponges by the sink.

......and lived happily ever after! 

 I couldn't make this kind of stuff up...........everything here is true, and some of the craziness has probably been forgotten!  It's not the party itself that matters....it's the marriage and the life that you lead after the last guest has gone.  Our wedding day was truly memorable - we love to laugh about it - and it was a great prelude to our life together, which has been anything but ordinary!

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